Birthday Blahs

28Feb06

My big 3-0 birthday was Sunday – the main reason I haven’t posted in the last couple of days. I never get depressed when my birthday comes around, but I definitely feel it emotionally. It’s not even the number that gets to me. I guess I’m more likely to look back at my life when another year mark passes, and I still can’t forgive myself for my DP (or Depression Period). How stupid is that? I know it wasn’t (isn’t) my fault, but I started thinking about how much time I lost and how much time it’s taking to make it up! It seems to be creeping by in dog years! Does that even make sense? Yeah, I guess so – for each year I spent in my DP, it seems to be taking 7 years to catch up!!!

Good grief, I sound like I’m depressed now! I’m not really, just a little down about where I am in my life – in comparison to where I thought I would be. And really, doesn’t everyone get like that sometimes?

I try very hard to remember the lessons I learned during that DP and to remember that I wouldn’t be who I am right now without that time in my life. That helps keep me strong. After all, I kind of like who I am!
Anyway, I’ll be out of my funk by the end of this week – and then I’ll try to post some pictures of my brand new craft area! ‘Til then…

“Whenever someone sorrows, I do not say, “forget it,” or “it will pass,” or “it could be worse” — all of which deny the integrity of the painful experience. But I say, to the contrary, “It is worse than you may allow yourself to think. Delve into the depth. Stay with the feeling. Think of it as a precious source of knowledge and guidance. Then and only then will you be ready to face it and be transformed in the process.”
–Peter Koestenbaum

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